is it a sin
to simply grin?
So severe
to show cheer,
to want me near,
to be sincere.
Is it beyond belief,
to have any feeling
aside from pure grief?
I am just happy to see you
but if only you knew
that I need you to be happy
just to see me too.
Sometimes I just feel like alot of people just aren't happy to see me,
like I am a burden, or just microscopic.
Like, I am unwanted sometimes.
When I ask if I can tag along, or just chill with some of my friends
I get the apathetic answer
'I don't care'
or
'Ok, whatever'
I don't stay an extra hour or two after services
just to drive home in the middle of the night
amd end procrastinating on my school work
for my health.
Everyone has favorites,
friends you jump out of your seat for when you see them,
even if you just saw them last service.
Even I have favorites!
But to have favorites,
and to be favored
are two completely different things.
a depressing entry,
maybe I am just having an off day
whatever
Me!
- Mitchell
- I am interested juggling. Not rubber balls or chainsaws but life. Juggling school, family and the internship. Plus, I want God in all of it. Easy...right?
4 comments:
I completely understand. You are one of my favorites, even if I don't show it..
Fo' serious (:
I'm always happy to see you and you're not a burden! You're honestly one of the only people that seem to honestly care, even if you get side-tracked so easily, haha. Ever since I met you, you seem to have had that characteristic of truly caring about people. I completely understand. I doubt people understand when they do it though, or realize the affect that it has on others.
Don't ever feel down about yourself for being your joyful self - even if others find it..whatever. We're supposed to be children at heart, right? ha, but for real.. Be who God has created you to be and if it's really bothering you that much, talk with the people that you feel are doing it. It's not going to get solved until it's talked about.
You'll be in my prayers this week! Stay strong for Christ, bro! :)
(I feel like I write a novel when I comment people & i hope it doesn't get annoying, I just have lots to say! Sorry!)
I empathize with you, but I also encourage you in Christ to keep your identity in Him. Something I admire about you is that you seem to be blessed with His constant joy, which many people simply don't have. The great thing about fellowship is that God meant us to walk together, to grow together, to enjoy each other-- so I encourage you, also, to pray that God would reveal to you those people that you can lean on, and be each others "favorites". Don't lose your joy. Keep running the race :)
Galations 6:14
i know what you mean. i feel it. it's a real feeling. from your most recent blog it seems things have improved...has it improved within you?
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