fads

I like my creative writing blog better than this one, I dont really use this one anymore.
I dont even remember why I started it and why I wrote in it all the time, just another fad I suppose.

who, what, when, where, why, how

I am content

WHO: I am not sure which person helped cheer me up
WHAT: Not sure what action was taken
WHEN: Not sure what time I cheered up
WHERE: Not sure what setting I was in when I cheered up
WHY: I am still not sure why I need cheering up in general

HOW: But I do know that it was you guys for you comments and God, that is how I cheered up.

whatever

is it a sin
to simply grin?

So severe
to show cheer,
to want me near,
to be sincere.

Is it beyond belief,
to have any feeling
aside from pure grief?

I am just happy to see you
but if only you knew
that I need you to be happy
just to see me too.

Sometimes I just feel like alot of people just aren't happy to see me,
like I am a burden, or just microscopic.
Like, I am unwanted sometimes.
When I ask if I can tag along, or just chill with some of my friends
I get the apathetic answer
'I don't care'
or
'Ok, whatever'
I don't stay an extra hour or two after services
just to drive home in the middle of the night
amd end procrastinating on my school work
for my health.

Everyone has favorites,
friends you jump out of your seat for when you see them,
even if you just saw them last service.
Even I have favorites!
But to have favorites,
and to be favored
are two completely different things.

a depressing entry,
maybe I am just having an off day
whatever

Really cheesy stuff to try to embarass my girlfriend.

Hmm, I think the title explains my motives.

Ok,

Sometimes I daydream about you even when we are talking to each other.
You are definitely the cuter one of the two of us.
The first time I met you I wrote the wrong name, but I wrote in my journal/diary thing and called you beautiful and hot, I think I called you kristy, or something.
You definitely like me more than I like you, because you like me enough to put up with my dorkiness.
There isn't a word for my favorite thing about you, well at least, any word that I know. I think its your uniqueness, or magicalness or awesomeness, so for now, my favorite thing(s) about you are your eyes and your dimples.
I love to spend time doing little things for you, like make you stuff out of tape and pipe cleaners.
You have helped me become a better christian.
You have the best taste in everything! Music, clothes, energy drinks! Except black olives
You made me start liking Dr.Pepper.
I like to save the voicemails you leave me on my phone for weeks after you leave them, even if the voicemails are just you saying goodnight.
You are the best reciever of hugs I have ever met.
I try to draw you all the time, but I cant describe you in any way, shape or form.
I have a theory that our hands are perfectly fit for each other, naturally this is only a theory, which I plan to experiment when ever I get the chance.
I really don't think you'll ever know how gorgeous you are to me.
Yeah, we almost died and had lots of fun homecoming night, but sometimes I still wish I would have slow-danced with you, despite how uncoordinated I am.
I really took way to long to ask you out.
I like to carry you around, and run into fields with you.
I know we both got terribly sick afterwards, but playing soccer in the rain was so fun.
and so was our food fights,
and putting air freshener up our noses,
and jumping into my pool with our clothes on,
which by the way, that shirt I let you borrow, is now my favorite shirt.
I can't have a bad day when I am with you, its like all of the world, problems, fate, life and everything else stops while we just chill out and listen to music in your car.
Even though I have never watched phantom of the opera, I know that your singing all of those songs exactly right.
I trust your judgement, even though I have no idea why me.
I think that hoodie I splatter painted you was my best work, ever. Well, I don't remember it but I still think so.
I still put up your microphone during youth service just to hear you better from the tech booth.
You make me feel brilliant.
Oh, and I love it when you draw over my drawings, because no matter how hard I work on my drawings, the idea of our creativity being together on paper, makes whatever drawing it is, better.
I really didn't know dogs slept before you told me they did.
When we slept talking to each other on the phone during the hurricane, I am happy you heard me pray for you after I thought you had fallen asleep, oh, and hearing you sleep over the phone was the most comforting feeling I have ever had.
And plus, I love you. I dont want to say it too much so that it loses its meaning, but I dont think there is another word to describe it.


hmmm, did I over do it?
Maybe,
but still, I mean every word of it.

Hmm, I have a feeling people will read this. Why do I always think that people don't read my blog. Maybe it makes me blog better. I don't know, I am going to hit the orange "Publish Post" button anyways. Ok here goes embarrassing my girlfriend and probably making a cheesy dork out of myself.

Random stuff

Love is having the greatest friend in the world and putting that friendship to your favorite song.

And it is kind of like the thought that another person could be your other half.

Hmm, it is also like the surprise of seeing snow for the first time when your first move to a state where it actually snows.

It is worrying about someone more than yourself.

Oh! Its almost like watermelon.



I want to say love is more than watermelons, but I really enjoy watermelons....hmmm well...love is like watermelons then.

In fact I exaggerated, love is much better than watermelons.

You can't laugh or open up to watermelons, nor hug watermelons trying to get love warm cause love's hands are cold.



However:

You cannot eat love though, nor the person you love, because cannibalism is fine and dandy but nonetheless eating the person you love is extremely rude. I try to be gentlemen like. But you can eat everything around the person you love, including watermelons and Andy's food, and coffe beans from the cafe...which was not a good idea.
I think love is better than watermelons!
And Rocky Road Ice cream!
And sunsets!

wow, I like to write like this, it is a bit cheesy but still

the chat ping

I sat at the computer, anxious for every reply.
That annoying sound of the next chat line,
The chat "ping" was
my muse.

I joked with lol's and omg's about how I had never been to the fair before,
how I left my camera disk at her house,
despite the fact I only missed the homemade pillow I had left there as well.
I still remember the feeling in my veins,
they pulsed not from my heart but from somewhere else,
a place in my body of not knowing what was wrong, what could happen next
before she typed I knew the place where my veins pumped from,
was a place I never wanted to feel again.

A place where I was speechless.
A place where did not know what to say,
but still typed endlessly.
A place where I tried to comfort with phrases, "God is in control"
but where I also felt like I needed to type the phrase to myself

I had to make the phone call to her mother,
to tell her what had happened...
I felt the cruel possibilities in my fingertips with every number
With every time I heard a pause in between a ring
and the answer of her mothers voicemail
My heart skipped a beat.

another call

another skipped beat

I type anything I can
to try to get her mind off of what could have happened to her father
her vivid description of "what if" and another motorcycle accident
brought me to tears

another call

another skipped beat

I try to type that everything was ok,
for the 7th or 8th time
but she told me to shhh,
I got a hold of myself, (thank goodness)

another call

another skipped beat

another skipped beat

I heard a voice, the first sound I heard
aside from my heart's heavy beats
and the sound of my mind racing like a cross-country adolecent
she told me that he was alright
he was ok

I typed to her as fast as I could
she left the computer to find a phone,
her phone had no minutes,
no way of communication

I typed anything
everything
I poured out my soul in every line hoping
that my soul could scream through the sound of the next chat "ping"
that she could hear the best news I had ever heard

the news that everything was alright
that God was in control

New me

This is gonna be just me writing, not a poem or anything, sorry, but I just need to write this out.

New Me

I walked into school, I knew that this would happen, not fear, but uncertainty
Uncertainty of what my friends would think of me,
not anything I had done
not anything I had said
not anything I had forgot
not anything I didn't keep tabs on

but uncertainty of me, the new me
I had grown so much spiritually, with my friends always hanging out,
always being there, always watching out,
and now, they aren't gone,
but that crutch of having them be my spiritual accountability is gone

I am almost on my own, just me and God walk through those halls
Its not lonelyness that gets to me
its the eyes on me,
people I used to call friends have noticed my changes to be more like God,
and I know they don't like it,

but I wont stop, I am commited to my changes
I doubt I haven't shown it this summer but I know my spirit has grown strong enough,
I can make it through this,

this is what this whole summer has lead up to,
the laughter,
the youth group meetings,
the helium,
the awesome,
the losses,
the commitments,

this is what it all comes down to, whether I will adjust to the school schedule or adjust to my peers, adjust to these stressors or adjust to the way I conduct myself.

I will be missing church due to events planned ahead of time, so these 2 or 3 weeks will be the hardest for me,
pray for me


I will keep my promise, and be pure, I won't give my self away, fool around, and I will think of you,
I wish it were as easy as everyone to cease their being as the opposite sex, but it will never be that easy,
but know you are worth it, and I will keep my promise.

Nervous about perfect girl

Ok, well I am kinda nervous about doing this, but I am going to ask the most perfect girl in the world out to subway today. She, well she is perfect to me, thus, the title of this blog.
-
Ummm, I wrote her this poem during first service, and I hope she likes it. I still have the tattered journal paper I wrote it on, and I am crazy nervous. In case you didn't know, perfect girl, has been the subject of many of my poems so far. So, I hope you don't read this before I read it to you in person perfect girl.
-
Perfect Girl:
Please dont read this yet! Just stop reading! Yes, I am typing to you!
-
Everyone else:
Pray I don't pass out.
-
Ode to perfection (Know I am just happy to see you))
-
No matter how many compliments, awards or aspirations
Uncertainties, setbacks, and fate's cruel limitations
No matter when, where, why or what I do
Know that I am just happy to see you
-
Stinging orange air freshener up my nose
Sharpie doodles all over my clothes
The pool water tightens our jeans
My eyes on you, are filled with chlorine
-
When your eyes hurt after you have just wept
When your tired because of how little you slept
No matter when, where, why or what I do
Know that I am just happy to see you
-
When you feel heavy, remember to me your as light as a feather
When you havent even had breakfast, and are feeling under the weather
-
When you are
happy
sad
ecstatic
mad
amazing
tired
talented
wired
-
When we spend time together, time I always savor* (pronounced gangster - sav.ah.)
Always know I am happy to see you, my gorgeous and perfect, perfect girl.
-
It is really hard to rhyme things with your name.
it is worth it though.
-
-
-

Hair color

This is kinda late, but I dyed my hair brown.
Yep, if you didn't notice, it's cool.

Now I just need to dye my hair blonde, white, and that's it!

wow.

oh, and on a minor note, it was really late when I did the last couple of posts so if they were too awkward, deep, or anything else, sorry. I was tired.

my slam and you

My Slam

To teach yourself color is to associate your personal emotions with the gradients and shades all around you.

To be one of those proud, unique few

To each your self color and learn creativity from a new point of view

breaking the mold with every tint and hue

-

To not know red as red, or blue as blue

But to see this earth as a created entity speaking to you

-

Red as passion,

to lose the ration - ality

to finally see

the calm blues

to finally choose

-

for ourselves

-

whether colors can be accurately described by brushes, art classes, textbooks

or to choose that a color is much more than just it's looks,

-

but they, these colors, they are

-

emotion-filled entities

simply lent to you and to me

-
*for the purpose of descrbing ourselves,*

-

-

[or the other ending I wrote:]

*by the one and only God,
such a gift that I am too in shock to lift my hands and applaud*

-

I couldn't decide which ending to go with, they both sound alright to me.

-

-

-

-

-

You

I can draw the sea,

(try to) chalk draw sunsets,

and write about the most gorgeous things on this earth,

but no matter how hard I try I cannot define you.

-

Your beauty is so different, so unique to me

that just writing about how different you are,

is making it near impossible for this poem to rhyme

-

So I will just try to type freely about how you make me free

-

This thing about you that I cannot describe inspires me to write more,

something no one has ever done for me before

-

Your smile, eyes, touch, and presence*, my words are gone,

your more gorgeous than anyone I have ever met, even without your makeup on.

-

Your personality, just surprises me, everytime I see you I never think I could like you more

but the next time we meet face to face, reality changes my life as I know it and....

...poof.....

I like you even more than before

-

Your creativity makes me wish I could see the world like you see it,

almost as much as I wish I could simply describe you

-

-

hmmm, this didn't even come close to descrbing you...

-

-

just being with you:

it is like my top 5 favorite songs playing in my head at the same time,

like the taste of watermelon

like a chill up and down my back

like sitting at the edge of my seat at the end of a movie I have already seen a thousand times

like, completeness

-

-

hmmm...still not even close, but closer than before, when I can describe you more I will try to blog again.

eh, whatever

-

-

-

*Presence:

Not only am I unsure of whether I spelled this word right,

but along with all of those feelings I kinda get light-headed around her presence; Readers, should I like, see a doctor or something?

My thoughts on awkwardness and feelings

feelings are awkward,
as awkward as the word awkward
.
awkward doesn't rhyme well with other words
and feelings make us feel like they wont go well with what other people think of ourselves,
as if our feelings just wont rhyme with everyone elses.
.
levels of awkwardness just explode are usually after something serious, stupid or both
feelings emerge, enrage and sadden us the in similar explosions.
.
awkwardness can leave us speechless
feelings can mute us as well
.
When telling stories to my friends I find my self defining my life with awkwardness
I find that I also define my daily life with my feelings
.
I know that as a christian I can't be awkward about my faith, but at times I am
I know that as a christian I can't think about my feelings too much, but at times I do
.
.
Can awkwardness and feelings be wrong?
They are the worst.
.
Can we avoid awkwardness and feelings?
Yes, to be a hermit these days is easy with apathetic lifestyles.
.
Is taking away awkward moments and feelings out of our lives worth it?
Well, that is a question to you reader.
.
.
In my case, the awkwardness and feelings are worth the trouble because what I feel for, and what I get awkward around can truly define me.
.
.
A promise:
Open up your feelings, no matter how awkward and I won't judge your feelings with a single word or awkward silence, but instead laugh with you and make life that much easier.

Set me free (of fear)

Ok, I said I was gonna post some poems and stuff so I guess I should.

Hmmm, the light humm of the computer isn't critical and I don't think anyone will actually read this unless I tell people I have added to my blog....so here it goes.



A quick note: this poem was written about 25 minutes ago and I had no time for revisions so I am sorry if the beats of the poem are a little off.

I would suggest reading it aloud but to yourself...if that makes any sense at all.

Set me free (of Fear)

Not Michelangelo with any amount of chisels or clay

Nor Shakespeare in any sonnet or play

Could describe how gorgeous you are to me

You smile and laugh, You overall, set me free

Growing old, losing my youth was once my fear

But now I drift off and peer

I peer, see, wonder and gaze

into this dream-like, distant place

All I see now, is an image in which I can barely retell

An image where we are aged, wrinkled but most surprisingly, we are happy and well.

My wrinkles and age once brought shivers to my bones

but this fear is modest in comparison to being alone

I drift again, but this time to a treetop

My fear of heights screams at the thought of such a long drop

And yet...your presence with me, Oh! fear cannot fight it,

This fear tried against your adventurous smile and lost, now quiet.

You inspire and comfort my being

When I talk with you it is like finally seeing,

Seeing how you have set this soul free.

Now my only fear is the thought that "we" will never be "we".

well, that was the deepest thing I could think of, and honestly the only reason I found the courage to write that was because I lied to myself and said that no one would read my inner thoughts.
I doubt this is true, someone, anyone could read this blog just to check up on my life.

But, if you do read this and feel that urge to click and comment, don't.



thanks

New Comic!

I am making a comic right now, It is gonna be awesome! Well, I hope so anyways.

I need some conflicts aside from the drama-rama-llama I will draw.
So please vote on what the conflict of the story should be!
the little voting box thingy in the top.

Alright, what else is new. Ummm, I am excited for tommorow.
Adventure Landing!
whoohooo!
Yep, it is gonna be awesome.

Alot more is going on in life. I suppose I just don't wanna blog about it. either way, life will make more sense after this week.


Anyways, the new comic has 3 main characters already.
Diego
Darcy
Mandy

I need some names for characters in the comic thing.
Thanks homies.

Oh, I have also been revising a slam poem! I feel edgy and urban-y.

Lovely Mad lib

Hey, guys and girls this poetic masterpiece is a sure-heart melter. If this doesn't work on your true love you must have a really annoying personality, horrific facial acne, or both.

Love poem:

Dear ________,

You are extremly incompetent and I smell you! I want kiss your antler 7844 times. You make my cheese burn with desire. When I first saw you, I creepily stared at you and fell in love. Will you drink out with me? Don`t let your parents discourage you, cafeterias are just jealous.

Yours forever, ______

Mad libs!

Here are some mad libs!


First is: Krysteah's day in kindergarten!
Second is: Joe's merry go round singing
Third is: Amanda T's videogame



1. Krysteah's day in kindergarten!

It was Monday, that meant that Krysteah got to go back to kindergarten! She was as excited as a(n) gopher! After she got off the school bus, she walked straight to Mr. Bolduc 's class at the end of the hall. When she got there, she saw lots of her friends including Britt, Amanda, and Amanda.

After she put away her Miley Cyrus CD's and her bookbag, it was time for morning meeting! It turned out that Krysteah was the line leader today! She got up in front of all the students to say her news. Her news was I like to punch Mitch. Everyone thought that was very boring.

Next, it was Share Time. It turned out that it was Krysteah's turn! She had brought in a killer spider that she got from her trip to Starbucks. She got on the share chair and told everyone how crazy it was when she found the killer spider. The kids all raised their ribcages to ask questions.
Krysteah picked Joe. He asked Krysteah if the killer spider was spontaneous. Krysteah said " Welcome to burger king !".
Then Krysteah picked on Kristina. She asked Krysteah what it is like in Starbucks. Krysteah said that it was smelly and dramatic.

At the end of the day, Mr. Bolduc asked the kids to raise their shins to talk about new things that they did today. Britt was called on first. He said that they ate for the first time today. Next, Rachel was called on. She said that they had fun playing with dead babies. Finally, Mr. Bolduc called on Krysteah. Krysteah smiled and said that they had fun when they drank during the Epic Service. Everyone smiled!

At the end of the day, all the kids went onto their school buses. Everyone had lots of fun. Krysteah couldn't wait to go home and tell tawn-tawn all about her day!


2. Joe at the merry-go-round
One terrible morning Joe went to the merry-go-round and was so fat that one of the judges made a bet with him. She said he was such a bad fortune cookie writer that if he whispered in the merry-go-round, everyone would run away! The Idol wannabe was so confident he was a talented singer, he accepted the bet. If he could sing for a crowd in the merry-go-round and have twenty five of the people there not twirl, he would get to muscle spasam to Hollywood! So Joe, sang his inner ear out. he shook his knuckles and waved his sharks, and one by one, all of the people in the merry-go-round left. All except one, that is! Patrick Dempsey stayed and clapped for him! He yelled OMG and even gave Joe a standing ovation! He was so happy, he started to combust!



3. The Amanda T. Videogame!

The funny and tall Amanda T. has confused Britt's loud sister leading her to steal Amanda's shiny cellphone! What are a(n) imaginary panda and creative Amanda to do? Before you can find her cellphone, you'll have to collect the terrible dance cds and fluffy starbucks cards that open up the 17 worlds leading up to Joe's Lair, whose only weakness is karaoke. There are 120 aviator sunglasses in the game, along with hundreds of other hidden goodies for you to find.





Hamlet's sililoque-mad lib thing:
To eat, or not to eat, -- that is the gummi worm;Whether 'tis nobler in joe's car to suffer The slings and shoes of awesome fortune, Or to take guitars against a sea of paint buckets, And by lovingly end them. To die, -- to help, -- No more; and by a help to say we end The pencil and the 1000 natural shocks That flesh is best friend to,-- 'tis a photograph rapidly to be wish'd. To die, --- to help,-- To help! perchance to touch! ay, there's the white out; For in that help of death what lemons may come When we have ran off this quiet coil, Must give us spork....

If I could be a sea monster...

Random Questions!

Firstly, I would be Godzilla if I could be a sea monster.
Ok, reply with your answers I guess and I'll see how alike you all are.

Random Questions

If you could be a _______ what or which one would you be?

1. Natural Disaster
2. Dessert
3. Place
4. 90's tv show
5. song
6. Disney princess or character

cool

my answers were.....

1. godzilla
2. cool whip
3. New Zeland, or just anywhere serene
4. Recess, or maybe animaniacs, weekenders, hmmmm this is a tough one
5. currently, I would want to be the Jake Shimabukuro ukelele song (link at the bottom)
6. I don't know, I was thinking like mushu or something

Ukelele song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=puSkP3uym5k

By the way, Horace was a poet who used to be a warrior who fought with Brutus against Marc Anthony. Now this isn't why he is one of my favorite poets, he is my favorite cause despite all of the bloodshed he saw, his main montra was to seize the day and make the best of it

any other random questions or questions about me, just ask homies

Why black is my favorite color

Hmmm, well I suppose I should explain some things about myself.

My favorite color is black cause when I think of black I think of black ink or black paint on an empty canvas. Black is like inspiration, the first stroke of a painting, and despite how "dark" it sounds I feel that black definitely an equal color rather the absence of color.'



Okeydokey, well if anyone has any more questions I promise no matter what, I will answer them in my next post. This is a big promise so seriously, don't take it lightly.


BTW here is a poem by Horace

Be wise, strain the wine, and trim distant hope within
short limits. While we're talking, grudging time will already
have fled: seize the day, trusting as little as possible in tomorrow.

#1 Random thing aboot me eh

Hey guys, girls and everything inbetween!

Here are some random things about me:

My favorite color is black
I like music, almost all kinds but not country (sorry country)
I like to dance but never stuck to those hip-hop classes
I am gonna dye my hair again once it grows out long enough
I can click my tongue really, REALLY loud
I have an 80's music fad
I had a teenage soap opera fad
I enjoy writing but I change everyones names in my fake stories to not be hurtful
I like to draw and doodle but not paint so much
I like to be as different as I can, but then again, so does everyone else

hmmm, well that is enough of me for now but hey, why not just ask about me instead?

Paprika!

ok, sorry for not posting as much as I said I would.......wait, I don't feel that sorry anyways. eh, whatever.

Still, I think I am going to go with paprika as my new nick name.
so that is one thing off of the list before I make a new blogging list.

Secondly, I need an idea for a drawing cause I just ain't feeling as creative as usual.
If anyone has any ideas just let me know, I would like a landscape to draw. Oh, and if you do have an idea, don't draw it or print it out, just describe it to me. It will let me be more creative in my interpretation.


right, okey dokey.

The Blogness monster!

I have never been a blogger but hey, if I can express myself I should try this thing out. Hmmm, where to start.

Ok, first off I wanted some ideas for a new nickname and stuff, I wanted to express myself, keep in touch with my c3 friends who live a ka-jillion miles away, put random things about myself, along with some random questions thrown in here.

Ok, so my blog thingeys are gonna be:

1. Nickname ideas
2. Thoughts and awesomeness
3. Just typing random stuff (poems, stories, etc)
4. Random things about me
5. Random questions
6. Whatever else I feel like posting.