whatever

is it a sin
to simply grin?

So severe
to show cheer,
to want me near,
to be sincere.

Is it beyond belief,
to have any feeling
aside from pure grief?

I am just happy to see you
but if only you knew
that I need you to be happy
just to see me too.

Sometimes I just feel like alot of people just aren't happy to see me,
like I am a burden, or just microscopic.
Like, I am unwanted sometimes.
When I ask if I can tag along, or just chill with some of my friends
I get the apathetic answer
'I don't care'
or
'Ok, whatever'
I don't stay an extra hour or two after services
just to drive home in the middle of the night
amd end procrastinating on my school work
for my health.

Everyone has favorites,
friends you jump out of your seat for when you see them,
even if you just saw them last service.
Even I have favorites!
But to have favorites,
and to be favored
are two completely different things.

a depressing entry,
maybe I am just having an off day
whatever

Really cheesy stuff to try to embarass my girlfriend.

Hmm, I think the title explains my motives.

Ok,

Sometimes I daydream about you even when we are talking to each other.
You are definitely the cuter one of the two of us.
The first time I met you I wrote the wrong name, but I wrote in my journal/diary thing and called you beautiful and hot, I think I called you kristy, or something.
You definitely like me more than I like you, because you like me enough to put up with my dorkiness.
There isn't a word for my favorite thing about you, well at least, any word that I know. I think its your uniqueness, or magicalness or awesomeness, so for now, my favorite thing(s) about you are your eyes and your dimples.
I love to spend time doing little things for you, like make you stuff out of tape and pipe cleaners.
You have helped me become a better christian.
You have the best taste in everything! Music, clothes, energy drinks! Except black olives
You made me start liking Dr.Pepper.
I like to save the voicemails you leave me on my phone for weeks after you leave them, even if the voicemails are just you saying goodnight.
You are the best reciever of hugs I have ever met.
I try to draw you all the time, but I cant describe you in any way, shape or form.
I have a theory that our hands are perfectly fit for each other, naturally this is only a theory, which I plan to experiment when ever I get the chance.
I really don't think you'll ever know how gorgeous you are to me.
Yeah, we almost died and had lots of fun homecoming night, but sometimes I still wish I would have slow-danced with you, despite how uncoordinated I am.
I really took way to long to ask you out.
I like to carry you around, and run into fields with you.
I know we both got terribly sick afterwards, but playing soccer in the rain was so fun.
and so was our food fights,
and putting air freshener up our noses,
and jumping into my pool with our clothes on,
which by the way, that shirt I let you borrow, is now my favorite shirt.
I can't have a bad day when I am with you, its like all of the world, problems, fate, life and everything else stops while we just chill out and listen to music in your car.
Even though I have never watched phantom of the opera, I know that your singing all of those songs exactly right.
I trust your judgement, even though I have no idea why me.
I think that hoodie I splatter painted you was my best work, ever. Well, I don't remember it but I still think so.
I still put up your microphone during youth service just to hear you better from the tech booth.
You make me feel brilliant.
Oh, and I love it when you draw over my drawings, because no matter how hard I work on my drawings, the idea of our creativity being together on paper, makes whatever drawing it is, better.
I really didn't know dogs slept before you told me they did.
When we slept talking to each other on the phone during the hurricane, I am happy you heard me pray for you after I thought you had fallen asleep, oh, and hearing you sleep over the phone was the most comforting feeling I have ever had.
And plus, I love you. I dont want to say it too much so that it loses its meaning, but I dont think there is another word to describe it.


hmmm, did I over do it?
Maybe,
but still, I mean every word of it.

Hmm, I have a feeling people will read this. Why do I always think that people don't read my blog. Maybe it makes me blog better. I don't know, I am going to hit the orange "Publish Post" button anyways. Ok here goes embarrassing my girlfriend and probably making a cheesy dork out of myself.

Random stuff

Love is having the greatest friend in the world and putting that friendship to your favorite song.

And it is kind of like the thought that another person could be your other half.

Hmm, it is also like the surprise of seeing snow for the first time when your first move to a state where it actually snows.

It is worrying about someone more than yourself.

Oh! Its almost like watermelon.



I want to say love is more than watermelons, but I really enjoy watermelons....hmmm well...love is like watermelons then.

In fact I exaggerated, love is much better than watermelons.

You can't laugh or open up to watermelons, nor hug watermelons trying to get love warm cause love's hands are cold.



However:

You cannot eat love though, nor the person you love, because cannibalism is fine and dandy but nonetheless eating the person you love is extremely rude. I try to be gentlemen like. But you can eat everything around the person you love, including watermelons and Andy's food, and coffe beans from the cafe...which was not a good idea.
I think love is better than watermelons!
And Rocky Road Ice cream!
And sunsets!

wow, I like to write like this, it is a bit cheesy but still